Archive for the ‘Psychology’ Category

INNER JOURNEY BASECAMP: Honouring the Self – Just say NO!

I was trying to find an article on respecting boundaries and things but during the course of it came across this article its about saying”No” but I suppose it helps to understand why sometimes people might refuse something. Eg They may not give you their birth date or their weight.

INNER JOURNEY BASECAMP: Honouring the Self – Just say NO!

Inner_journey_base_camp Individuals with weak personal boundaries frequently have difficulty saying NO to unreasonable requests. When they pluck up the courage to stand up for what they believe, their newfound assertiveness may also be accompanied by feelings of guilt. What do you need to know and believe in order to say NO without guilt?

Top Ten Tips for Saying NO without Guilt
Make it easier to say “No” by acknowledging to your Self that:

  1. you have a choice.
  2. you have no need to explain your decision or behaviour.
  3. you have a right to ask for clarification.
  4. you have a right to ask for more time.
  5. you are a good person even if you do say “no”.
  6. you are honouring your personal boundaries.
  7. you are refusing the request, not the person asking.
  8. you are respecting the other person in your thoughtful response.
  9. you are giving priority to things important to you.
  10. you are respecting your Self.

Random Everyday Thoughts: Don’t worry Be Happy.

Is it worth worrying about things you can’t change? I guess the answer is no thus from this I guess we can deduce that:

  • There is no point looking back and crying about it, because the past is not going to come back.  Just have to accept everything that was and happened and get on with the present time.

Is it worth worrying about what people think about you? I guess Not, they are not under your control. Their feelings are not under your controlf. If they love us Good, If they hate us good.

  • The best thing to worry about is our own behavior as that is something under our control.

Should we worry about finance? No. Why Not? Because:

  • Rizk (provisions) is something Allah has taken control of:  He increases it for whom He will and He reduces it for whom he wills. Now if God is under control of it why worry about it?
  • The only thing worth worrying about when it comes to “provisions is what God put under our control; the effort. The rest is up to God. You might become rich, you might become poor… A child makes no effort, its still a baby but its Father is  a milionaire. Its fate. A child is poor, he makes effort,  He bcomes rich. There is an investor a millionaire, the economy collapses over night he loses millions. Its fate. God Helps us with what we do and the end result is with God. So don’t stress too much.  Billions of animals in the world, smaller brains than humans, no technology, no automation, no oil but yet the sleep on full bellies.

The effort is always up to us the result is beyond us. Don’t worry about controlling what necessarily isnot under your control. Ony worry about the things under ones own control.  Just do things right.

Rules for Being Human:

This might provoke a few things in you, might even make you reflect on some things,, I would personally subsitute the word “universe” for Life or God coz in the end all affairs go back to God and nothing can happen unless he allows it to happen.

“Rules for Being Human”

1. You will receive a body. You may like it or hate it, but it’s the only thing you are sure to keep for the rest of your life.

2. You will learn lessons. You are enrolled in a full-time informal school called life on planet earth. every person or incident is the Universal Teacher.

3. There are no mistakes, only lessons. Growth is a process of experimentation. “Failures” are as much a part of the process as “success.”

4. A lesson is repeated until learned. It is presented to you in various forms until you learn it–then you can go on to the next lesson.

5. If you don’t learn easy lessons, they get harder. External problems are a precise reflection of your internal state. When you clear inner obstructions, your outside world changes. Pain is how the universe gets your attention.

6. You will know you’ve learned a lesson when your actions change. Wisdom is practice. A little of something is better than a lot of nothing.

7. “There” is no better than “here.” When your “there” becomes a “here” you will simply obtain another “there” that again looks better than “here.”

8. Others are only mirrors of you. You cannot love or hate something about another unless it reflects something you love or hate in yourself.

9. Your life is up to you. Life provides the canvas: you do the painting. Take charge of your life–or someone else will.

10. You always get what you want. Your subconscious rightfully determines what energies, experiences, and people you attract–therefore, the only foolproof way to know what you want is to see what you have. There are no victims, only students.

11. There is no right or wrong, but there are consequences. Moralizing doesn’t help. Judgments only hold the patterns in place. Just do your best.

12. Your answers lie inside you. Children need guidance from others: as we mature, we trust our hearts, where the Laws of Spirit are written. You know more than you have heard or read or been told. All you need to do is to look, listen, and trust.

13. You will forget all this.

14. You can remember any time you wish.

Sadness is Good For you

Just came accross thisarticle thought I’d share it. i guess we all feel or felt bad or sad at some times in our life and perhaps we may even feel more sadness in times to come. But alls not lost according to this article “Sadness is good for us.”

Is Sadness Good for Us?

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‘If you never feel sad, it is because you have never become attached to someone, and that is a very lonely way to be.’

An article in the Daily Mail, UK, caught my eye with its headline: “Don’t Be Depressed: Feeling Sad Can Be Good for You“. It reiterates arguments that feelings of sadness have been packaged up according to the medical model, turned into a disease, and are often then ‘medicated away’ by doctors who do not necessarily take into account the context in which the feelings their patients report occur.

It is clear enough that after a bereavement someone who is not suffering from any kind of mental health problem might tick a lot of the diagnostic boxes for depression, with feelings of sadness and lack of interest in hobbies being expected and disturbed sleeping and appetite extremely probable. What may be less clear is why the state of sadness is seen not only as inevitable but as valuable, even positive in itself. Psychologist Dorothy Rowe puts it succinctly, ‘If you never feel sad, it is because you have never become attached to someone, and that is a very lonely way to be.’

So every sadness is part of a connection to others, sadness is a part of love. Expression of sadness (rather than taking the tablets so our functioning is not impaired and ‘no one notices’) mobilises support systems, and maybe is an evolutionary mechanism that helps us to survive. It promotes reflection as well, and this is also no bad thing.

You could even argue that apart from our individual bonds, there is enough suffering in the world around us to make anyone sad, if we connect with it. You could argue that we are all interconnected whether we like it or not. And in this case it might be a good idea to frame the sadness differently, not as the pain of a total cutting off, e.g. disconnection from someone who has died, but as a chance to be aware of those interconnections. No one is actually lost from this web.

And the more we feel the sadness, the stronger those connections are to everyone who has ever suffered (maybe including animals, or even the planet itself). This gives us a spiritual sense of the world which might really make life feel worth living.