I was trying to find an article on respecting boundaries and things but during the course of it came across this article its about saying”No” but I suppose it helps to understand why sometimes people might refuse something. Eg They may not give you their birth date or their weight.
INNER JOURNEY BASECAMP: Honouring the Self – Just say NO!
Individuals with weak personal boundaries frequently have difficulty saying NO to unreasonable requests. When they pluck up the courage to stand up for what they believe, their newfound assertiveness may also be accompanied by feelings of guilt. What do you need to know and believe in order to say NO without guilt?
Top Ten Tips for Saying NO without Guilt
Make it easier to say “No” by acknowledging to your Self that:
- you have a choice.
- you have no need to explain your decision or behaviour.
- you have a right to ask for clarification.
- you have a right to ask for more time.
- you are a good person even if you do say “no”.
- you are honouring your personal boundaries.
- you are refusing the request, not the person asking.
- you are respecting the other person in your thoughtful response.
- you are giving priority to things important to you.
- you are respecting your Self.
Divina narrative: (hadith)
I am with those whose hearts are broken for my sake. (At haf 6/290).
The heart of a man receives shocks in many ways, eg anxieties, troubles, accidents, casualties thus the heart is broken, but why? Just to make it a target for Allahs mercy andbounty.
Dr Iqbal Poem:
The heart is like a mirror. Do not prevent it from being broken. It’s breakage is more dearer in the sight of its maker (i.e Allah), than its safety. Almighty Allah being indeed the maker.
Dr Abdul Hayi Sahab used to say when Allah breaks the heart of any of His servants He desires to lift them to greater heights. These shocks, anxieties and sorrows which come to men are forced exertions in deen (faith) by which the servants progress in leaps and bounds to higher degrees and this is not possibele in normal circumstances. He used to recite a couplet:
“The potter threw down the pot to break it saying that afer breaking it he would reshape it (in a better form).
“The moon like beloved ones take up their residencein deserted houses, They reside in the hearts of those who they ruin.”
The devine light penetrates into the broken hearts, so do not be afraid of occasions of sorrow andshocks. If you truly and firmly believe in Allah hen this broken heart, these rising sighs and these tears will take you to greater heights of spiritual achievement.
“the Vally e of love is too far off, but some time a hundred years long journey is covered with one sigh, in the twinkling of an eye. Man should not therefore, get dejected and disappointed with these shocks and anxieties.”
Spiritual discourse By Mufti Taqi Uthmani
There was once a king who was gifted with a preious emerald by a distant king from a far away land. The king thanked him for this precious gift and because he already had so many valuables he passed it on to one of his ministers.
The minister thanked the king for it and admired its beauty, as he looked in to the emerald he could envision far more riches, land, wealth and glory. The minister sold the emerald and in turn bought some land with it. He worked the land and made more and more money. Soon he was buying weapons with his wealth and started using his power in acquiruing land through force without caring for the peoples right he was abusing.
The king summoned him to question him abiut his dealings but he took this as a threat and was soon at battle with the king. The minister killed the king and took over his wisdom and ruled with authority and wickedness.
The people were soon spared of this king in that soon he met his death and the former kings son took over and handed back the land and wealth to the people. Justice was restored.
The Two kings were summoned in front of the king of Kings to give an account of their deeds. The old king was forgiven and honored due to the generosity he had shown. The minister was punished for the arrogance and abuse he had shown with his wealth.
Similarly we have been given many gifts by our creator, health, wealth, time, body parts, etc some of us will use them in accordance to Gods wishes and thus gain his pleasure, some of us will abuse the trust and gain his displeasure.
A person could use his tongue to unite people winning paradise others will use it to cause rift earning punishment.
(fictional story by Maj)
They would not allow this picture on the site I originally tied to post it on.
Just meant as a bit of humour…
Excellent documentarydefinitely recommend watching its in 5 parts.
.. and finding it quite interesting. Nice music too.