I borrowed this article, nice read i thought. We all have to go through setbaks and failures in life. Things don’t always go as we plan and its learning how to cope with this that matters. Many of us just say its an act of God and leave it at that and suffers, others will recognise the factors that lead to it and will try to make things better.
Islam most definitely requires us to always do something about our situations to make them better and thuis maybe this article can be a help to some of us in trying to life back in order. Maybe doing something gives us peace of mind instead of silently suffering.
Dealing With Setbacks
Copyright (c) 2000 by Benjamin Devey. All rights reserved.
I had a shock recently when my site host informed me the homestead was being suspended. From disappointment to anxiety and grief, I had to choose how to react to the unsettling news that I might have to start over a year’s work of submitting the site for search engine positioning, and possibly having to rebuild LearningLove.com at another site.
As it ended up, we were able to resolve the matter without disastrous results. Some good that comes from the experience include a refreshed reading of the site guidelines for (not) remote loading and a new design for the LearningLove.com site that will soon be posted on-line. I admit, it wasn’t the worst of tragedies. (I have had many worse.) It may even seem trite to many of you dealing with challenges in your lives.
In treating the subject of setbacks, I recognize the need to be sensitive. It’s a serious subject with somber consequences for many readers. I don’t want to downplay the challenges anyone else may be facing.
Many people deal with tragedy in their lives every day. Terrible things happen with relentless chains of consequences that people have to deal with. Whether you’re dealing with a breakup, divorce, unemployment, financial or legal trouble or a spouse’s infidelity, one of life’s inevitabilities is facing trials. Much of our happiness depends on how we deal with setbacks.
The first step is to assess the situation. It takes honesty to correctly evaluate what is really going on. Most of our first reactions are not the most productive. Don’t discount emotions, but go through the upset, fear and anxiety to get past the gut reactions. Gather all the information you can about your circumstances. What caused the difficulties? What came before that? Ask yourself, “What is my responsibility?” Every situation is different.
We need to counsel with the Lord; not in the human form of telling Him what we think He should do for us, but seeking divine aid to see our circumstances clearly. God teaches us all things that we should do. This is an important part of information gathering.
Don’t blame. It rarely brings about anything constructive, and blaming certainly is destructive. Yet this most helpless of reactions is virtually always the first resort. Have you ever seen blame solve problems? Take responsibility as the key figure to resolve the issues in your life.
Many people give God the credit for everything bad that happens in their lives. There are several flaws in this way of thinking. The main problem is that we put words in God’s mouth, “God gave me this trial.” Even if a specific challenge were to come from God, our moment of frustration is not the best filter for discerning His authorship of the difficulty we face.
While God may let challenges occur in our lives, most of the trials we face are caused by ourselves and others. Many of us do such a good job of messing things up through our own mistakes, that we create our own problems. Blaming God just doesn’t help at all.
While I truly believe we must rely on God’s divine help, and give thanks to Him in all things, I also believe that we need to do all that we can to improve our circumstances and to bless the lives of our dear ones. Rather than passive resignation, we need faith that moves us to action.
Take responsibility for your actions, accept personal accountability, and remedy the situation. What can be done? What factors are beyond your control? At first glance, many people would answer that the situation is completely out of their control.
Sometimes it takes creative problem solving to find affirmative steps that will address the circumstances. I have found that even when my challenges seemed beyond control, there were always options. By finding specific solutions, there are ways to address problems and improve their impact on your circumstances. See what can be done.
Count your blessings. Look at both negative and positive outcomes. What can be learned? See challenges as new sets of possibilities. Obviously, there are rarely easy solutions for many of our problems. But we can come out of difficulties with new skills and abilities. The power that we have may be internal, rather than external. Even if our circumstances don’t improve, challenges can bless us with character growth, strength and refinement.